I haven’t posted in a long time, and I’ve had infinitely interesting things happen lately, but I can’t help but be *so annoyed* at big companies this week. And it’s not that they are evil, because they are, but because they are so dumb. Their dumbness is annoying me enough that I feel compelled to write about it.
South Park once hypothesized that the writers of Family Guy are manatees, and write episodes by lining up balls containing words to create jokes and plot lines. According to wikipedia, manatees exhibit complex associated learning and advanced long term memory, making them smarter than these company decision makers. But turkeys are known for their low intelligence. And so, I ask, are the executives of these companies really dumb humans, or are they turkeys?
I give three examples to elaborate on this reasons behind this question.
A monopolistic internet cable company (with phones, mobiles, etc.)
Due to technical reasons, I got stuck with the big telecom monopoly for internet. I was originally with a smaller company, but due to technical reasons (that is, due to evol Bell), I had to switch to cable. For months now, and I mean MONTHS because I was out of town for quite a while, I have been getting phone calls from an “affiliate” of “*my internet company*”. The phone call goes something like this:
“hello, may we please speak with the chrysalids?”
“yes, speaking”
“we are XXX company, representing *your internet company*. Your promotion with *internet company* is about to end and we would like to offer you a new promotion.”
“Sure. What is is?”
“Oh, before telling you about it, we will need to verify your identity with some security questions”
“But I don’t know if you are who you say you are. Why would I give you my personal information?”
“Well, we can’t offer you the promotion without verifying your identity”
“Okay. Well, *internet company* has my email and mailing address. Can you ask them to email or mail me information of this so called promotion?”
“Oh, you would have to give us your email for us to do that”
“but I just told you that *internet company* already has my email. If I am to believe that this is *internet company*, they should just be able to send me an email”
So, apparently people fall for this! What I don’t get is that if it *is* *internet company*, they think I am stupid enough to give personal information to a random caller that I can’t verify. If they are not *internet company*, then of course they would tell me what “*internet company*” just told me. In which case, if it is *internet company*, they are setting up a situation where people will get used to people impersonating companies and requiring personal information. If it’s not *internet company*, and this “affiliate” has been calling me for months (harrassing?) then why don’t they put a stop to it? (I have not received an email or notice from *internet company* about this). Either way, this makes *internet company* look really stupid to me, because either way, they clearly think their customers are idiots. Recently I got another phone call, where the same general conversation was had. I finished it by explaining all of this to the caller. When he tried to legitimize his call, I explained that a fraud would also try to make the call sound legitimate. I repeated I was happy to hear about promotions to benefit me, but not at the expense of less security. So, he seemed upset, which, again, I pointed out a fraud would act upset too. So, the phone call ended with him pointing out it was my “loss” for not going along. Uh huh. How *internet company* thinks that this improves any bid for customer loyalty is completely beyond me.
Next thing you know, *internet company* will be calling me telling me that they have inherited one million dollars and could I help them with a few thousand dollars for start up costs.
*internet company*: I was not born yesterday. Are you turkeys or dumb humans?
Big American and International Airline Company
In short, I flew long distance on this company last summer. I did not apply for their *miles program*, but heard about it on the plane. Then I flew again recently on the same company. I also flew a few times on an affiliated airline. I signed up for *miles program* a few weeks ago. I tried to register my miles. I got the miles for the last trip. The August miles did not go through, and the website rejected the affiliate miles. So, I called the company to try to get the August miles through, as well as the affiliate. After 38 minutes on the phone, I was rejected for both. I was supposed to have claimed all miles within 30 days, but they make an exception to 60 days when you are new. If I want to claim affiliate miles, despite my proof of purchase, I was supposed to keep my boarding pass and fax it to them. (Who uses a fax machine in this day and age?). I pointed out my proof of purchase of the affiliate tickets, but they told me that paying is not good enough–they want proof my bum was in a seat, and they can’t go get it themselves. US airline, you fail. And here’s why: your miles program will probably never yield me great travel benefits, but the point is to create loyalty, right? Well, you are not. If you had told me on the plane that I needed to register within 30 days, I probably would have done this and been so thankful I knew. If you had given me all the miles I asked for, I probably would have been more likely to try to get my next ticket with your company because I would have been so invested. But, you didn’t, so I have less miles, so I’m still pretty open to your competition. In terms of the 30 days, ethically, if you are willing to make a 60 day exception on a first timer, then what’s 60 more days? There is no difference, it’s just a dumb arbitrary rule. Same with the affiliate miles. US airline, I don’t care that much that I didn’t get your miles. But, your program purpose is customer loyalty and you really missed the point.
I ask: are Big American and International Airline Company decision makers possibly turkeys attempting to play with the lives of miles program participants?
British-Canadian Mobile Company
Yes, I have evidence that you may land on a thankgiving table sometime soon too. Here we go. I want an android powered smart phone. Mobile company, you only have three, and I don’t like Samsung phones. Dr. A has the very cool HTC legend. However, the HTC legend only has Android 2.1. According to Dr. A, the HTC legend was upgraded to Android 2.2 in Europe, but not in Canada. When he did a bit of digging, he found out that mobile company would have had to request an update from HTC, and HTC has made it publicly clear that the mobile company never did. The result? British-Canadian Mobile Company, if you had gone with the update I would have switched to your company for the HTC. Instead, it is not to be, and it’s your OWN FAULT. I mean, how much can an update cost compared to launching a new phone? Dummies. The other companies have more variety to choose from.
I rest my case, gobble gobble.
