Archive for the ‘psychic flux of enjoyment’ Category

Sunday morning

December 7, 2008

Now that I’ve gotten over the little hump of a few weeks back, I’m generally glad to be in this PhD-land I’ve set up for myself. And after all of this talk about prorogation and a coalition government this week, I woke up this morning especially thankful that I don’t work in the public policy system anymore. Emphasis on the servant part of civil servant. What no one is really talking about now that prorogation has been granted to Harper so he can pull his budget together are all the long hours the Department of Finance and some  line ministries likely  have to pull over the holidays. Awesome for them. Pizza at 11 PM two days before Christmas is probably not that exciting.

My current biggest problems are that I have to edit my concluding case study and conclusion for my development studies paper, it’s hard yet possible to run through snow, and I have almost run out of almond milk. I realize that while I was aiming for three years of this, I am now thinking it’s completely viable to make sure it is stretched to four.

Dance your PhD continued

December 2, 2008

I just can’t get enough of this contest. I stayed up late last night watching all sorts of entries.

This one is my favourite, and I understand transcription now.

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This is one of this year’s winners. I really like the costumes, and how they show how the experiment works with the camera sequence.

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And this is not a winner, but I love the sheer enthusiasm of the dance. I don’t understand the science part at all, though.

End of term paper fever

November 30, 2008

One of my audiences favourite stories from me is the time my totally gay (boy) friend had me over to dinner in Montreal in the month of January. I started to feel sort of hot and bothered, a bit sweaty and out of sorts, and my heart was palpitating. My condition made me start wondering if I had a crush on him, which was sort of odd because of his gayness, and also since I wasn’t exactly feeling too sold on guys at the time either. So I panicked and hit the road. When I woke up the next day with a fever and the inability to leave my bed, I realized it had just been the beginning stages of illness, not a life-changing crush. The major lesson I learned from that is if you’re feeling funny, you might be in love, but you also might just be sick.

I don’t know what that has to do with anything, but I wasn’t feeling well yesterday in that same way—sort of outside myself, headachey, and buzzy. But since I was just writing all day, there was nowhere to confuse/displace my feelings. Maybe I’m confused over my love of my papers. And I’m still not entirely sold on either direction for my research, so I am sort of going along, “seeing” the applied development paper, and also “seeing” the theory side, where I am trying out a relationship in my human geography term paper, and for my “fake”, or preliminary, comprehensives exam assignment.

My “fake” comprehensives paper is going well because it seems to be coming along naturally. I now have a professor, who is not *my* professor, sending me all sorts of material and helping me out, which got me over the hump of figuring out how all of these bodies of literature connect (lesson, go with the young professors, since they reviewed the material much more recently, and they tell you the stuff to avoid). After I got this help, I’m pretty happy with what I have come up with. This one is becoming a fairly easy going relationship, as materials that I can use just keep streaming in (see photo–piles and piles of books). I’m thinking I’m going to have to navigate a whole new territory to make a research design, since I’m not sure how typical my idea is, but my paper and I feel like we will cross that bridge when we come to it. Together.

Books

On the other hand, my relationship with my development studies paper on the place-based nature of electricity and development is a seriously difficult, iterative process. I think I will be pleased with the results, but it’s feeling *hard*, and complicated. The problem with the world is that environmental “small is beautiful” ideas have been subsumed and possibly corrupted by neoliberalism, encouraged by the forces of “inclusive” capitalism. It’s all so hard to keep track of, but basically, according to my sources, Greenpeace etc. have not done the most bang-up jobs for energy and poverty alleviation. But where did it all go wrong? I can’t answer that one, so I just gliiiiide past it. And what’s the best administrative model to work from? I seriously don’t have time to answer this in the paper since I’m already 2000 words over. I need to do some neoliberal chopping of paragraphs myself, which may compromise my paper’s ability to deliver benefits to the world. Gah. You can see how this is becoming a relationship with too much processing going on. Zap Mama is my coach in this one–her music is helping me hold it together.

If I push this relationship further, the only reasonable research I can come up with so far is to put radical environmentalists of the Global North in an African hut with solar photovoltaic (electricity) technology, with one storage battery, one television, one cell phone, one light, and two dollars a day (hey, that’s generous). They will have an assignment to learn something new (such as a language), and will write journal entries recording daily activities and usage of electricity, which will serve as my research evidence. We can see if they too watch television and use their cell phone before powering their lights by how well they get their assignments done. I will compile this evidence to evaluate whether environmentalists really think that developing countries should “leapfrog” technologies, and really survive off that solar photovoltaic technology, and whether it really is a poverty alleviation tool.

I think I will put that in the presentation to class tomorrow.

Stereotyping me / her

November 19, 2008

Am I really so young at heart? I have now been carded twice at the Uptown Waterloo liquor store, even though not only am I not even close to the age of drinking (19) but I am also not even close to the upper limit age the LCBO sets in terms of who they card (25ish). What I don’t understand is that I got carded by two different women, both of whom were middle aged, and I always assume middle age women know *everything*, including how to perceive your age accurately. This is the one demographic I would never assume I could pull anything past. For instance, in Cuba, the security personnel in museums are…middle aged women. Are you really planning to mess with someone who looks like mom or grandma? I am pretty sure that that was Castro’s angle on staffing decisions.

I asked the second one if this was some elaborate joke on me, and she said no, and still insisted on seeing my ID which showed that I am more than a decade older than someone who is not allowed to drink. She was very surprised and told me that I look 21. And then she said maybe it’s because I’m all bundled up in my winter clothes. Hard to say.

I’ve been wondering if it’s the hoop earrings which have made a come back in my accessories, since I was recently referred to as “cheap labour” when introduced as a student at a conference even though I had just stated that I’d been working as a professional for several years. And then at a book launch I got asked if I was a student, and then how to get cheap labour from students, so I at least referred him to my professor this time so he can hire other students. But I feel like the cheapness was again implied towards me. So, maybe those people think I’m much younger than my age too, but unfortunately 21 is not even a compliment younger–I think it just makes me seem immature.

When I told codejill about the second carding incident, she texted back that “Kool kidz underdress 4 wintaz”. I think that means that they mis-stereotyped me since I was wearing clothes, not taking them off. Sure sign of oldness. And I mis-stereotyped them. I guess not all middle aged women are as perceptive as my mom. Or maybe it simply operates along the lines of genetics.

Anyways, this carding is becoming a nuisance and a serious time waster. Especially since it’s cutting into my time to smoke and drink beer with the other kool kidz at the cemetery by my house before curfew.

Better is the enemy of Good

November 19, 2008

Once I finally felt settled in to Kitchener, and got over the hump of the first hard paper, things have been running smoothly. I have my routines, I have my stores, I found my bar, I have friends who show up at my parties, and invite me places, and even pick me up and drop me off from events in cartown.

At some point, it started to feel like it’s going too smoothly. I think it was when I got really good feedback on my reflection on social science’s use of complexity theory, and I let out a huge sigh of relief, which made me realize how intellectually intimidated I am by this professor. But I also realized that it means that I’m not necessarily feeling challenged enough, or intellectually intimidated by others. I worried that if I feel this way now, I might not feel challenged enough later. My term papers seem to be going smoothly. I have no fear of making up my comprehensive exam reading list—it seems like it will just happen, rather than feel like a challenge. And I got worried that I would not be challenged enough while preparing for my comprehensive exam, hence prepared to do well. Part of this is that I haven’t found another student whom I really “click” with on topic/strategy, which was the case of my master’s, and it felt really lonely at that point in time, especially when no one could give me substantial feedback on my work besides my supervisor. And he was so hard on me that I had a love hate relationship with our meetings. I worry that my advisors might not give me that slight gut wrenching feeling I need in order to excel.

I started to second guess my decision of where I am, which I think is pretty normal. I remember when I made my decision of which school to go to, I knowingly turned down someone who seemed to be a big scholar (actually, a couple I guess). It seemed justifiable at the time for so many reasons. But in my research for my comprehensives exam reading list, I keep coming across those names, and references to their work and pedigree keep surfacing. So I got really entangled in the thought that I’m doing good, but maybe I could be doing better. And maybe I thought that better was to bring in someone else from somewhere else (i.e. an external), which I can do for my comprehensive examination, but I can’t do it for my committee leading to my final defense, as the external is chosen without my knowledge, and everyone else is internal to the university. Or maybe better was somewhere else, because maybe I’m just not going to get the challenge I’m seeking here. I wasn’t really sure where to set the bar of achievement, or how high, and it felt like such a lack of a clear path with no rubric to follow, and very few people to talk about this to.

I spoke to a few friends about this, which I sort of labeled as a lame, elitist panic, but still my panic, and very real to me. Maybe a panic because I didn’t quite feel like I was fitting into the working world in the positions I held, and now I have a bit of fear that I can’t carve out my own niche in academia. I know I define a large part of my identity through what I do because I like that sense of accomplishment when I can get it. Or because I had given up a secure salary (even if not a secure job…), so I felt like I gave up a lot to be here, and as Rule 5 states, I should *be* here. Everyone I spoke with did a good job of listening and at least acknowledging what a concern this was to me, which made me start to feel better.

One friend in particular though, really gave me some excellent advice and has shown me how to turn it around for myself. He started by pointing out that “better” is the enemy of “good”. Because I’ve got it really good right now, I do. I have a really supportive set of classmates and some good exchanges. I’ve chosen courses based on whether it will train me as a researcher, and how to work within geographic epistomologies. I have an excellent apartment, with a great space to work and relax, with great landlords who are also friends. And I’m not afraid of politics biting me in the ass at this school, which is key. He pointed out that to a certain extent, this is what all PhD’s suffer through: by the time we’ve hit that point, we’ve figured out the mechanism to churn out papers at a the required level of thought, and we’ve learned the tricks of framing issues within our own disciplinary understanding. And the loneliness is really common, but really, it’s just a signal that I need to push forward to another level by creating new mechanisms to guide my work. He reminded me that it’s really up to me to create my own challenges. So, maybe I shouldn’t see my paper as what my professor will think, but start to think if it as a possible publication or conference presentation, and challenge myself through those venues. And that’s where I’m going to have to start making my own community for feedback and challenge. Which all seems like common sense, and I was sort of leaning that way already, but I really wasn’t connecting it all together that way and seeing the steps towards my ultimate goal. Instead, I was sitting around with “Now what? Is this it?” in my head. He also pointed out that regardless of where I was, I would probably hit this feeling at some point, so it’s better to stay where I know I’m supported.

What’s funny about self-diagnosis is that it’s impossible to do sometimes. A few of my dear friends are academics moving through PhDs, and I have seen this in them before. The questioning the institution, questioning their committee, or the intellectual isolation/loneliness. I’m not sure I’ve had such good insight into what it all means before, though. Leave it to the business strategy friend, who pointed out that the big thinkers, or innovators, at some point separate themselves from the goings-on around them, and figure out different way to push through, produce, and relate. As much as I hate to admit it, I did learn a lot from the 7 habits of highly effective people (although, why do they always have to use multinational corporate types who “strike big deals” as their examples, rather than cool artists, intellectuals, and entrepreneurs who manage to keep afloat despite societies which don’t support them enough?), so I suppose that I should be picking up some more biographies/strategy readings on these types of thinkers to guide me through sometimes. Suggestions welcome.

Traction

November 1, 2008

On Wednesday it snowed. During my jog I encountered an icy hill, but I just sucked it up and kept going despite less traction. This is pretty much what PhD land has been like this week. I turned the ringer off on my phone, and just pushed through my seminar presentation on Mobilities, which became all encompassing and somewhat problematic.

When I originally took it on as my human geography theme, I did so because I understood it could easily relate to my work in natural resources, as it would explain much about the transportation sector which I have done some work on in the past. However, it unraveled into post-structuralist brain equivalent of a ballerina trying to make sense of belly dancing. This is borrowing a metaphor from my belly dance instructor who has been explaining that belly dance has no names for movements as well as physical stances that don’t conform to formal training, which makes it a really hard art form for formally trained dancers, who expect form and structure, to enjoy. Anyways, it was hard for my logic and rigor wired brain to get through what turned out to be a paradigm based on a book that read like stream of consciousness writing.

Urry based his mobilities theory on eight key theories related to movement (Simmel drawing from Heidegger, complexity, sedentarism, fluidity and nomadism, materials, migrations and diasporas, pleasures, motility) and five key types of mobility (corporeal, physical movement of objects, imaginative, virtual, communicative). He pulled all of these together by drawing on complexity theory as metaphor (borrowed from the famous Nigel Thrift), and then wrote a long history of all of our key types of mobility defined as series or nexus systems. All with the objective of showing the necessity of understanding space and place as relational through the complex interactions of the mentioned concepts and systems. Pretty much ignoring the key theories and hoping I would not get asked anything about them, I pulled together a presentation trying to describe how this attempted paradigm relates to key areas in human geography (remember, it’s all about place and space). I designed a slide showing a conceptual diagram as an attempt to translate Urry’s writing into a more digestible format. My diagram attempted to map out how all of the key elements relate, and showed some of Urry’s examples of relationships between mobilities systems, social, economic and political issues and, relating it all back to geography, how these effect a relational view of space and place. I commented that even when used as metaphor, complexity theory is not really properly utilized in this paradigm, and my initial reaction is that motility theory shows complexity’s key concept of emergence better than the new mobility paradigm.

None of that made *any* sense to you, did it? It still doesn’t make any sense to me, which is why it felt like it felt like a slippery slope. I have to say this was one of the few moments when I have walked into a presentation feeling *completely* unprepared, and unsure of whether I missed the mark completely or not. And yet my professor told me that my conceptual diagram actually captured the whole book (all 300+ pages) quite nicely, and pointed out that the book had no diagrams (that’s right folks, none). He asked me to come up with what a concrete example of an automobile nexus system (Urry’s prediction for automobile futures) would be. Luckily that was the *only* question I had thought of beforehand, and he was pleased with my answer of car shares. He also pointed out that Urry was probably aiming for a post-structuralist conceptual framework, which may be why he did not outline very much in terms of methodological considerations. Which makes me wonder how hardcore post-structuralism has to be—does it mean that the author cannot provide logical threads throughout their writing? I don’t think I will delve into anymore to figure that one out.

After the presentation one master’s student asked me if I can help him with complexity theory as it relates to governance, and another said I related it to the class well, and a third said I should send my conceptual diagram to Urry. So I suppose I did hit the mark somewhat, and people felt that they had learned something from what I had to say. One of my PhD cohorts asked me if I felt like I had just completely wasted my time or if I was found it useful to do something that doesn’t completely relate to my comprehensive exam preparation. I’m not sure about that one. I learned more about complexity theory, and how social science has borrowed it from the math and science domain, and how I can critique its use from that perspective. Maybe it was a useful exercise as a way for me to make sense of the science/social science divide and miscommunication between the two, since my work tends to bridge the gap.

Some thoughts I didn’t present. I was surprised Urry did not read Ivan Illich’s work on transportation. Also, too many uncritical pop culture references on complexity were referenced, which is problematic for theory by legitimizing work that is not rigorous enough for academia, and giving it weight over other sources (and this may be another entry at some point). Combined with what I considered a metaphor that was not clearly presented, at the moment I don’t see enough connection between complexity theory and the mobilities paradigm. I think they could be combined more elegantly.

Finally, in case you are curious, Urry presents two automobility and fuel dependence futures as his conclusion: either conflict and global collapse leading to tribal trading, or a digital panopticon to save the earth from global climate change, full of carbon quotas etc. Heartwarming and fuzzy feelings.

Feed your neighbours

October 20, 2008

This morning when I got back from my run, I heard a knock at my door. I opened it to find my two small friends in their pajamas (Spiderman designs!). They offered me a warm Montreal style bagel wrapped in a paper towel. “But”, they screamed,  “you have to get your own cream cheese!” I am so lucky to have such friends living downstairs!

That set the theme for the day. In my development studies class we had guest speakers from Haiti. Their organization, called Kore Pwodiksyon Lokal (KPL), is linked with the Mennonite Central Committee, and they work to promote a local food and product movement. Haiti is flooded with imports which are cheaper (and not as high quality) than the local fare. KPL wants Haitians to buy from their neighbours and support the local economy. They made a commercial to advertise their message, which aired last February. It is one of the most fun commercials I’ve ever seen, and according to them, it had a big impact. Check it out!

The man who jumps back at the end of the video was one of the speakers. I think he is a Haitian version of Rick Mercer. He told us that the next video to come out will be of him interviewing politicians to find out whether they prefer local fare or import. Apparently they all say local, but when he threatens to call their houses and find out what is cooking on the stove, they admit they buy “Miami rice”. Tsk. Tsk. He is quite a funny man, and very dedicated to the movement.

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And….speaking of neighbours, and things that go in mouths (well, a bit of a stretch here), but did anyone see this? Hilarious!

Melt. Down. (Averted?)

October 19, 2008

Ohhhh. Today was not a good one in PhD land.

Up until now, PhD land has been full of smiles and positive feedback from my profs. They say things like “that makes sense” or “that’s innovative!” or “what a good idea” or “Rather than say that structural adjustment programs forced countries to privatize the electricity sector, I *would* say that they were required to charge the full marginal cost price of electricity.” To which I would reply “okayyyy, but just to clarify, and I’m not sure about Europe, but could you also say that most jurisdictions in the Global North did not charge full marginal cost price, but countries in the Global South were generally required to do this?” to which he would reply “Well….yes.” And then I would say “And, I’m not completely sure of this, but doesn’t the Global Environment Facility, which has leveraged billions of dollars into renewable energy for countries in the Global South and effectively require them to adopt more renewable energy before they (the GN) do, even though it’s not necessarily clear that (energy-wise) an economy has developed this way before?”* to which he would say “I hadn’t thought about it that way before” to which I would reply “well…I mean, I only know the African context…” And then he would say “Thanks for a good discussion” to which I would reply “are you sure I wasn’t badgering you” and he would say “no”. And outside of school I have my nice Chrysalids ecosystem of well-being activities to fuel my studies.

But today, for my professional-development/so-you’re-gonna-be-a-geographer? course, I was required to attend a conference. I need to point out that this conference was billed as designed for students, a good place for networking and professional development, and to work on presentation skills. So, I paid my 70 bucks. And hauled myself out of bed at 530 AM (I was up even before the 4 year olds downstairs, which is a scary thought), on a *Saturday*, and rode my bike in the dark and the cold to campus.

The bus ride was fun–half the people on the bus were asleep, and the rest of us, tired and giddy, helped me brainstorm my presentation for my students on Ishmael. We decided that the do-gooder is a cross between Lisa Simpson and the Big Lebowski (I consider living in a housecoat to be disillusioned). But then had to decide whether my 18 year old students would know who the Big Lebowski is, or whether I had to pick someone else who was generally disillusioned, and more famous. We came to the conclusion that famous people are not openly disillusioned, so the Big Lebowski was chosen. And then Ms. RedChuckTaylors and I had a debate over which Marley brother is the hottest (Damian Jr. Gong Marley is, hands down). Again,  happy, fun PhD land discussion with my funny cohort.

When we arrived a the conference, I should have known there was a problem when they thought I had canceled (and yet, still cashed the cheque I mailed) and didn’t have a package ready for me. And there was NO COFFEE. Blasphemous when you are expecting people who have been up since 530 AM.

Recalling that the conference was billed for students, and most graduate geography students are actually poached from other disciplines (i.e. are new to geography), you would think that we would have had a nice, fuzzy and warm, happy welcome plenary session. No such luck.

Neoliberalism

The first speaker, speaking for a collective, explained to us that the publications that we are required to publish in if we want to pursue tenure track positions are all owned by large corporations, which automatically own our intellectual property, so we would even have to pay copyright fees to access our own work. Regardless of the fact that the institutions funding our research are generally public, the publications end up owning the IP, and then the institutions pay the journals to access the research they’ve funded. Apparently only the Americans have figured out this might not work for public access to information and has legislation against the IP ownership.

We are all exploited. Coffee definitely would have made that go down better.

Hierarchy

On top of that, the discipline is dominated by British and Anglo journals (I already knew this), and their journals have the highest impact factors (i.e. how often the journal and the article are cited). It’s hard to get ahead with English as your second language.

The collective is challenging this through peer-reviewed, online, open-access journals in five languages. But they have to be accepted by the dominant culture, as they probably can’t compete for impact factors.

Inequity embedded

The next speaker, also from the collective, told us that amongst many social science disciplines, geography is fairly insular and hierarchical, and this is embedded in hiring practices. A growing trend, I gathered also imported all the way from the Brits, is that impact factors of publications are taken into account above all other factors by hiring committees. As well, the Brits have got geography covered, and cite themselves and each other often, thereby increasing their impact factors significantly.

On top of that, there is empirical evidence that women, people of colour, and especially women of colour, are not getting hired as much, and are definitely not moving up the ranks due to the hiring practices. On top of that, pay raises are not predominantly based on merit, more so on retention.  Anecdotally, they are more worried about losing the older, white, male scholars. In fact, the speaker himself saw his salary go up by 50% over the past three years (he’s a white, older male). He reported feeling guilt as there were other people slogging away who didn’t get the same kind of raise. He went on to say that he wouldn’t turn it down. He will continue to publish his research on inequities in hiring practices for the dual purpose of changing the system and getting credit through impact factors.

I have a feminine-Canadian handicap.

Culture shock

Environmental Studies as a “discipline” does not value one form of knowledge over another, and strives to not value one destination from another in terms of where knowledge originates from, or where it is disseminated to. I suppose for all of my crankiness over my degree in that area, I was always grateful that I had the freedom to address an issue from any perspective I wanted, and personal experience was valued just as much as a literature review. I think the culture shock is that geographers openly acknowledge all of the inequities in the system, and also openly acknowledge that they probably won’t turn down the privilege attributed to them for reasons pointed out in this post, or challenge the necessary loss of IP rights to earn a living, and simply live within the system.

I’m used to feisty environmentalists who bite the hand that feeds them. And I’m also used to them painting a dire picture of the end of the world, but then ending with some vision of hope, like changing a light bulb, or putting in a low flush toilet. My point being, if this conference is indicative of the Big Geography Picture, I think geographers need to find their low flush toilet of hope to offer to students in the plenary session, rather than a picture of our careers being over (going down the toilet? could not help that one) before they’ve started. And (seriously, though) geography conferences should never underestimate the importance of coffee first thing in the morning.

I sometimes find conferences overwhelming since there are many ideas floating around to contemplate, and sometimes too much nervous energy. I found a garden to sit in and just wrote in my journal for a few hours before returning to see the presentations of my friends. And then upon return to campus, to complete my stellar day, I rode home in the cold and dark.

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*the issue underlying RE in the GS is that the GEF finances these projects, but people have to payback for the capital equipment cost, it’s found that too much of their income is being diverted towards this, and they are locked in and unable to afford diverse fuel sources, such as kerosene. In some cases, this could lead to further scavenging for wood for fuel, leading to more environmental impacts etc. etc.

What’s green and shows a lot of leg?

October 15, 2008

Kitchener-Waterloo, of course!

Good news for me, the Region of Waterloo is implementing green bins this fall. Fruit flies will have but one spot from which to annoy, as the green bin will conquer all other space attractive to them.

Also green, this year’s Oktoberfest parade had a cute “green” float. It was the prettiest float in the parade, amongst the SchneiderS (TM), large stuffed bears, and kegs on carts.

Don't litter bug

Don't Litter Bug

There were also legs and liederhosen.

Lots and lots of legs. In terms of leg exposure, I am sure Oktoberfest parade could rival Pride.

Dads in liederhosen

I did not manage to take a picture of the leather liederhosen, which are quite popular. (Which also rival Pride).

Some thoughts on the parade: I felt a bit conspicuous as I did not have a kid, a lawn chair, liederhosen, or one of those funny green hats. Everyone else at the parade had at least one of those things. Also, I discovered that the parade is serious business. It starts early (830 AM), I think so that it’s done by 11 and then you’re supposed to drink all day and eat sausage and sauerkraut and other SchneiderS meats. I drank juice and ate crackers, and then headed home to mark papers.

The rules of PhD land

October 7, 2008

There are a few rules I’ve developed to make sure I’m here for the right reasons, and don’t fall into the unhappy and trapped academic category. I repeat these to myself daily.

1- Be funded, since that means I’m future fundable.

2- Separation of work and play. Work 9 to 5 hours. It can be stretched a wee bit, but no late nights or weekends in general. Office must be in separate room.

3- The only exceptions are for big scholarship applications that I stand a chance for (see rule 1).

4- Stay until I don’t enjoy learning anymore. It’s okay to drop out, as long as I’ve hit the point of feeling satisfied with my knowledge.

5- No jobs outside academia, no jobs outside my subject area. If I’m here, I should *be* here.

6-  Have fun.

Rule 2 is allowing me time to secure my new identity as home maker, farmer’s market dweller, and mother of my internationally adopted dolls.

Rule 4 is allowing me to just have fun with my coursework and papers–I try not to take too long to get them done, and just insert much of what I know already into the mix.

I almost broke rule 5 this week, because I have this terrible instinct of sniffing out jobs, and I have actually developed the opportunistic skill of asking people if they have work for me as though I am doing them a favour–despite the fact that I started the PhD to become *less* relevant. Which means that I need a bright streak of some unnatural colour in my hair and possibly another face piercing (despite my fear of needles) to keep straight-up industry away.

Rule 6 is getting me up and running and doing yoga in the mornings, getting outside, bellydancing, and hitting up the 4 year olds for some play time at the end of a long day of proposal writing. And of course, I am making time for my beloved dolls.

All my children

All my children